My family is gathering at my brother's house for Easter this year. As all my holidays go pretty much the same, here's what's to be expected:
1. I will prepare a Green Bean Casserole as contribution to our holiday dinner.
2. I will burn myself taking the dish out of the oven.
3. I will curse and run cold water over my injury, but this year, I will apply Iraqi Information Minister type tactics to relieve the pain: "There is no burn! What burn??"
4. I will hide Easter eggs for the children, most of whom will ignore me unless I bribe them with candy. Little do they realize that their lesbian aunt, having no resource-sucking children of her own, will die a wealthy woman and won't they wish they'd been nicer to me when I bequeath my estate to the Humane Society. Hahahahaahahah...
5. We will eat, drink and be dysfunctionally merry. I will say a silent prayer of gratitude that my mother is no longer forcing a crying, miserable, young Cranky Chick into god-awful itchy tights, black patent shoes, frilly dress and bonnet every Easter.
I'd love to see you in a frilly dress.
Posted by: Naladahc on April 19, 2003 02:22 PM...and could you post a photo in the bonnet, too?
Posted by: Broad on April 19, 2003 02:33 PMLOL Sounds fun! ;-)
My daughter may be following in your footsteps because whenever I pull out a dress, she throws such a fit until I put it away. lol
Posted by: Michelle on April 19, 2003 02:39 PMHey! Don't complain. You could be working tomorrow like me. HAHA!!
My mom used to make my Easter dresses and she always put that itchy dang lace all over it. Then she would make me get in the flower bed at grandmas and take those cutesy pictures. Child abuse I tell you. *smile*
Posted by: sonia on April 19, 2003 02:45 PMYou could always dress your green bean casserole up in tights, a frilly dress, a bonnet and some black patent leather shoes and scare the little children into Cranky worship.
Posted by: hayneyz on April 19, 2003 11:56 PMBe careful how you prepare those beans
Posted by: dPhilc on April 20, 2003 05:37 PMI wanted to leave a comment on the Pit Bull story, but there is no comments section that I can see. That was a wonderful story and I'm so thankful to have people like you in this world. Nothing breaks my heart more than seeing animals left to starve, yet another reason to despise humans. I've seen previews of the animal cop show also, but I could never bring myself to watch it because I know I'd be bawling the whole time or ready to murder someone by the end.
Posted by: Angela on April 21, 2003 09:19 AM"resource-sucking children" pretty much sums it up! :-)
Posted by: vieux bandit on April 21, 2003 09:56 AMHehehe ... I can picture it all. Even the tights. heeee!
Posted by: Kelly on April 21, 2003 07:37 PMIs it really a holiday without the Green Bean Casserole? I don't think so.
And we've now proved it's not just an Ohio thing! Woohoo!
Posted by: CrankyMatt on April 23, 2003 11:48 AM