"Stan got a new computer, so where is MINE?? I work on my PC ten times more than Stan so how come I'M not on the list??"
Um... you work in mainframe applications all day, dipshit!!! Mainframe apps don't require a 1.7 GHz processor!!! It would be comparable to giving a Porsche to an Amish person!!!
"Suzy got a huge, 21" monitor the other day. I've had this 15" monitor for 3 years and I work on my PC a lot more than SHE does. I guess I need to suck more ass to get a monitor like that!"
Suzy is legally BLIND, you jackass!!!!
"My printer needs to be replaced. It doesn't print right!"
No, what needs to be revoked is your promotion to manager. You need a new ink cartridge, asswipe. Way to save the organization money by exploring all the avenues of maintenance and repair...
"My Palm Pilot isn't synching!"
While having inserted the Palm device into its cradle could be considered a technological victory on your part, you still have yet to press the sync button.
"These damn computers are wonderful tools when they work."
The same could be said of certain employees.
"My PC restarts on its own when I tell it to shutdown."
You're only going to turn it back on eventually anyway. The problem is...???
"These damn cryptic error messages! Why can't they just tell you what the problem is???"
It says, "It's safe to shutdown your computer". What part don't you understand?
Posted by Cranky at October 17, 2002 08:40 PMHi there,
Stumbled upon your site from movabletype.org. I had a good laugh reading your post. Hehe. BTW, such a lovely site. I think I should install myself a movabletype in my webby. Take care.
Posted by: Noor Hazmee on October 18, 2002 03:58 AMlol, I can relate. :)
Posted by: Lynne on October 18, 2002 06:52 AMWell, I *have* had glasses since I was 5 years old, but I wouldn't describe myself as legally blind!
I will never, ever have a Palm Pilot. I hate those things, and their irritating little squealing noise.
Posted by: Suzy on October 18, 2002 08:37 AMLOL! That sounds like my office.
I assume, though, that you've seen the other side of the story at Chronicles of George, the worst help desk technician ever?
Posted by: Solonor on October 18, 2002 10:31 AMI used to work at this web development company where we got at least fifteen phone calls a day like this
THEM: My email/web site doesn't work. What gives?
US: Mmm-hmmm. How about, say, Yahoo? Does that come up?
THEM: No! What'd you do to my computer?
US: Yeah, call your ISP, pal. The site's still there, you just don't have an internet connection to get to it.
Posted by: sourbob on October 18, 2002 11:14 AMHere's mine from yesterday.
Idiot: I keep getting delivery failures to someone I send to ALL the time. What's wrong?
Me: Send me the delivery report.
I'm waiting, for mail to come through..2 secs, I look at the notice.
Me: Did you even look at the reason it was failing?
Idiot: Yes.
Me: uh okay. Is your buddy at joe.blow@yaGoo.com?
Idiot: No. he's at Yahoo.
Me: Well maybe you got a delivery failure because the internet cannot translate your typos.
He had sent this 5x and 5x he received a failure. Huge Eyeroll.
Posted by: Charlene on October 18, 2002 12:32 PMBeen there, done that. I really have to wonder how those people ever got jobs that require them to use these devices. Wouldn't they be better suited to serve garbage-burgers somewhere?
Posted by: Linda on October 18, 2002 01:28 PMHehehe.
Perhaps you could start bringing a little "Tess Justice" to the workplace. I mean ... shouldn't stupidity like this be a capital crime? Hmm? :)
Posted by: Kelly on October 18, 2002 05:18 PMah, yes... the thrills of tech support. I miss them. No, really... when it wasn't Hell, it was fun.
Posted by: Laurence Simon on October 19, 2002 10:44 AM