Oh my goodness gracious. That would be enough to put you off assisting the elderly with anything. The one and only time I helped an old woman to the toilet was when my Aunt Grace was in hospital after breaking her hip. It was a simple case of out of the wheelchair, down with the drawers, onto the seat and you're on your own buh-bye. :-)

Oh I do! I worked as a nursing assistant many years ago and remember being roundly scolded by an old woman for being stingy with the loo paper!

My general rules of thumb are as follows:
Female between the ages of 15-35 wearing non-animal friendly lipstick and foundation - 25 sheets.
Female between the ages of 15-35 wearing Burt's Bees makeup products - 5 sheets non-chlorine bleached toilet paper on recyclable toilet roll containing at least 50% recycled materials.
Female between 22-35 wearing solid color t-shirt and denim shorts or jeans with white socks and Doc Martens and sporting cute little dimples - one sheet and a pen, for phone number.
Female between 35-60 - 15 sheets, two-ply, bought on sale at Wal-Mart.
Male - Get your own damn toilet paper, I ain't comin' in there with you, Are you trying to further oppress me and my gender? Did you ask your mama to bring you toilet paper?!?

My dear daughter.....if you had lived through the depression, you would certainly know that you were only allowed "two squares" per each potty sitting.

No way!! I need verification of this! Lorraine??? Where is Lorraine??? She is the only other person who visits here that can corroborate my mom's story!! 2 squares... I can't even blow my nose on 2 squares let alone, well, you know...

Hayneyz, I'll NEVER remember all that! ;)

For some reason I have the feeling that two squares, as your mother claims, was being very generous. She could have been instructed that one was only permitted one square for each visit to the privy.

I pray every day that I never get so infirm that I can't go to the bathroom by myself...or at least to not become such a loser ingrate when someone tries to help me! Sheeesh!

I didn't know they had the stuff during the depression. I was told how useful the Sears catalog was.

i am constantly scolded for the speed at which our TP supply is depleted. look, i need lots. it's a matter of feeling clean.

and without being too politically incorrect, does anyone know how a visually impaired person knows when they're done wiping the number two? just very curious.

Mother Goodman's two-square theory could explain why my mother tears paper towels and tissues in half. What she does with t.p. I don't know. That's private.

Kd, do questions like "how do blind people know they're done wiping" keep you up at night?? ;)

Nancy, my grandmother used to do the same thing with the paper towels! Isn't it something how those things that become necessities for survival stay with us even when it's no longer necessary?

Linda, I've heard mention of the Sears catalog myself. ;)