Well said Tess!

Even though I'm a man (yes, really, it's true!) I can see how people use sex to sell just about everything, and it disgusts me.

Don't get me wrong, I love sex, the kinkier the better, but it annoys me when it's used in such a manipulative way, and generally has the opposite effect, making me utterly distrust the product concerned.

Also, you're so right about people for whom sex is their only motivation. They are sad losers, who probably have no personality to speak of, and the lowest of self-esteem.

A number of things really bother me about your entry Tess.. the part about our society's seeming addiction to sex is really on the money... but the question I have is: is it more about youth and external beauty than it is actually about sex? I think we are all victims of media exploitation in so many ways... tieing in the sexual exploitation of children seems to be... errr... just part of the problem.

1) You are absolutely correct... men's balls will not fall off.. nor will a woman's vagina seal up due to lack of sex. Masturbation is a healthy normal outlet for sexual tension... but like anything else, can also be addictive.

2) Ok... sex is for reproduction... but what is it for in a same sex relationship?

3) Backrubs are good :)

4) Who says chocolate isn't sticky?

5) Absolutely! Intimacy should be a mainstay of a relationship.. sex is a very small part of that intimacy

I have to respectfully disagree with Troy on the point that tying in the sexual exploitation of children is part of the "problem" of media exploiatation. I see it as *result* of the problem.

One of the unfortunate side-effects to our society's collective obsession with sex is that people are looking at children and seeing sexual objects. It's no longer "shocking" to hear of sexually active 13-year olds. That is a problem.

It's very easy to blame the media - and I agree with Tess that there is plenty of blame to go around - but it's not "the media" who is sending 9 year-old girls out of the house looking like hookers-in-training.

Amen Kelly. If people stopped letting their children dress like mini-adults, particularly in provocative outfits, then that might help.

Whilst I don't want to sound like some old git, it's always depressed me, even since my teens, that children seem not to be allowed to enjoy and savour their childhood, but are instead rushed towards adulthood.

Troy,

I'm flattered that my post has bothered you. :)

No, it's not more about youth and external beauty than it is actually about sex. People can be vain, and they can be obsessed about external beauty and youth, but they cannot be physically addicted to those things.

I don't see sexual exploitation of our children in the same light as I see exploitation of adults. As adults, our duty is to protect children, at all costs. When, as adults, in any capacity, we exploit instead of protect we are the problem.

Masturbation, while addictive, does not have consequences affecting anyone other than the masurbater; unlike sex. Therefore, I don't see your point in #1. And quite frankly, it's a well known fact that MORE (not all) men are MORE interested in having MORE sex than MOST (not all) women are. So your vagina point is taken, but let's be real, ok? The act of sex has always been and will remain to be of greater importance to MOST men than MOST women. To drive the point even further home - how many women have you seen charged with sex crimes? Even the article I linked above indicates that only 1 woman was arrested, as opposed to 35-40 men.

#2 - Troy, you didn't adequately read #2. I said "reproduction first, pleasure second". It would follow, then, that in same sex relationships, "reproduction" is not the focus of sexual relations. While pleasure is, it is NOT without its responsibilities in same sex relationships just as in opposite sex relations.

#3 - I'm glad we agree that backrubs are fabulous.

#4 - Chocolate isn't sticky in the same way that other substances are sticky.

#5 - You are the first man I've heard say that sex is a "small part" of intimacy. Now, granted, I've only asked this question of a few men, but most placed it at the very top of the list. Of course, I'm sure there are women out there that would place it at the top of the list as well, but I stand by my assertion that the act of sex is of greater importance to the majority of men than it is to women.

Oh, and before anyone asks, "What does a lesbian know about heterosexual sex?" I've only been "out" for 8 years, and lived the majority of my life as a heterosexual prior to that.

I have to agree with most of your comments Tess. I'd just like to add that I believe that a lot of the obsession with sex comes from the taboo's that have been associated with sex over the years. Let's face it, the more that we are told that something is "wrong" the more we want to explore and see for ourselves.

As for the children, I wish that adults (parents) would let the children be children and not try rushing them into being adults. Pedophile's should be allowed to die a slow painful death.

1. Very True, sex is NOT something that is a requirement for keeping all the "tools". Life does not end just because you're not getting any.

2. The human species is among a very small group (2) that considers sex a pleasure. For the rest of the species, it is ONLY for reproduction.

3. Giving a nice massage to someone that you care about is as much fun as having sex (and usually lasts a lot longer).

4. Well, chocolate is rather sticky.. but I'd much rather lick chocolate off my fingers.

5. If there isn't a relationship there with feelings before there is sex, then you sure as hell shouldn't be involved with that person.

I admit, when I was younger I thought a relationship was based on sex. Then I grew up and realized that there is much more to a woman than just her body.

Sex is nice, but it sure isn't everything and not something that should be forced upon our children.

I personally do not believe that it is the obsession we have with sex OR the level of importance the media places on the roles of sex in society that causes the sexual exploitation or sexualisation and objectification of children.

I believe there has to be some internal wrong in the mind of the offender in order to fully believe their actions are a correct thing to do. Many murders, mass and otherwise, really do not see the problem with what they are doing and are often acting as a result of past experiences in their lives that screwed up their internal wiring. I do not see how this sort of crime is any different than that.

On another note, I would like to formally announce to the world that I believe myself to be the one and only homosexual male in the history of the Earth to think that cuddling up with someone and sleeping, watching a movie and/or the like can be better than sex. Shocking, no? :)