I don't know, Tess. I visited the humane society last week. It has plenty bouquet and aroma.

HA! I'll be at your funeral for sure, Tess. I'll do something, in your honour, to make everyone laugh ... maybe reciting the lyrics to "The Rose" or something equally absurd. :)

I really don't force myself to socialize anymore. When I try, I invariably kick myself in the ass for doing so and I only make things worse for myself. Last weekend, there was a little neighbourhood congregation out in our cul de sac. We headed out there, out of a sense of duty. I'd say the highlight of the ensuing conversation was when I made an offhand comment about how my husband views birdbaths as cesspools of filth and disease. The comment was met with gasps and statements of disbelief and descriptions of the bird baths that they ALL had. It was a major faux-pas and, in one moment, I became a pariah. They all hate me now.

So I probably am better off just staying home. ;)

Tess: You'd probably be extremely surprised to know that I am actually very well-socialized, despite my tendency to lapse into a seemingly eremitic state for days on end. I talk to almost everyone. People are even "shocked" when I tell them I'm "not a people person".

But you'll just have to witness it for yourself, when we go out to that fabulous dinner I've promised you when you visit. I'm the sort of dork who insists on engaging the waitstaff in conversation.

Feel free to ostracize me ... starting ... NOW!

:-*

Kelly,

I'm known to make the same social blunders, and just as in online, people often do not know how to take things I say in jest. Sometimes, I'm extremely deadpan and what I say in jest often comes off as serious to those with less than well developed senses of humor. And, I avoid "neighborhood" functions of any kind. I like to go where I think there's at least a half-assed chance of me meeting someone I can even remotely relate to. Neighborhood functions have never proven reliable in that way. :)

I prefer spending time with friends that have stood the test of time as opposed to meeting new people, anyway.

Jodi,

I'm usually very friendly to strangers and I LOVE giving waiters and waitresses a hard time (jokingly). Our dinner could prove rather hilarious, I'm sure!

So true. Online, I think a lot of people assume you're serious and jump to conclusions before even asking if you're kidding. We've all had little comment trolls pop into our blogs and act all indignant and offended, without stopping to think if anything possibly could have been a joke. (As an example, someone recently took the Caldwell "royalty intervention" seriously. HA!)

You also may be a lot like my husband. In real life, NO ONE understands his humour. Well, except for me and he has told me many times that this is the (only) reason he married me. I actually laugh at his jokes.

Meant to attach the link to that post I referenced. heh

Don't worry, Tess. I never take you too seriously. ;)

I can definitely relate to the paradoxical "people: can't live without them, can't mow them all down with a fully automatic rifle." (yes, that's a joke) I love people... very specific types of people. The rest can go play in the street. I also have this tendency to find great amusement in attempting to strike up conversations with those individuals least likely to successfully conduct a conversation. See Operation Smile for further details.

But, all in all, I find our four-legged companions to be far more enjoyable on a day-to-day basis.

Shawn,

You have a way of saying exactly how I feel and then I end up striking myself in the head, going, "How come I couldn't have said that?"

You are right on the money. I can't say "ditto" enough times.

I am what you could probably term a "tragic romantic". I adore people and foolishly expect the best from them; therefore I am constantly disappointed and hurt when they turn out to be such fucksticks. Ah, well. The optimism of my twenties. I'm sure when I hit 30 in October I'll develop that hard candy shell I've been longing for.

I take offense at your jab towards twister. Twister is a perfectly fine form of entertainment thank you very much.

After the whole gay culture fiasco I feel like I should be putting tags around anything I intend to be funny. But wait if I do that then people will see that I am trying to be funny but I am really not. Hmmm....dilemma.

Michelle -- the tags won't help. Some people still won't be able to relax and take a joke. Even a funny one. ;)

Actually, we *did* possess a "Twister" game in my house as a kid and I *did* play from time to time. All that... twisting though... I much preferred Monopoly or Life.